Sun, Apr 29, 2018
by Chris Russell
Duration: 39 mins
Winning at Marriage week three message from Pastor Chris Russell on April 29, 2018 at Community Church of Waterford, Goshen, Indiana.
Now we could spend months covering all the topics related to marriage but today I want to focus in on two areas. I want us to be reminded of the importance of having fun together and I want us to know how when we aren’t having fun together and are in a tough spot to understand how to fight fair.
This is where we get together, enjoy each other's company face to face, because so often in dating couples can talk and talk and talk for hours on end; then when they aren’t together they move on to texting for hours and hours, then later on they get on the phone and they talk. And if someone isn’t talking they are content to just sit quietly and hear the other person breathing.
This is where you're hanging out with your best friend; you're doing something you enjoy with your wife or your husband. It's enjoying time doing common activities.
Belly button-to-Belly button
Oh, he did not just say that! Oh yeah he did! You’ll remember that one!
Now, let me give you some advice about this because I believe that one of the best things you can do for your marriage is have some physical and intimate fun.
Now we all know that there are times in marriage when having fun is not a priority. Sometimes things get so tough and feelings get so hurt that having fun together is not something that’s even on the radar.
Here’s the key thought I want you to have in your head as we talk about this more…
Healthy couples fight for resolution, unhealthy couples fight for victory.
*Unhealthy couples = one-up, get the final word in, verbally destroy the other person - the goal is victory; in this approach somebody has to lose so that the other one can win; sign of an immature marriage
*Healthy couples = even though they are upset in the moment, their hearts desire is to become stronger as a result of going through the struggle - the goal is resolution; in this approach both seek to win so that nobody loses.
Keys to Win-Win fighting
1. Stop to LISTEN carefully
2. Guard your WORDS faithfully
3. Handle your ANGER righteously
Do you really want to win in your marriage? Then you can’t keep doing what so many other couples in this world are doing that are passively sitting by while their marriages are going into the tank. You’ve got to make intentional, daily choices to make your marriage a priority. You’ve got to be intentional with having the 3 types of fun we talked about, and you’ve got to be focused on fighting for a win-win outcome when things get difficult. For those of us that have chosen to follow Christ, our marriages are supposed to look different than those of the rest of the world. They are to show what can happen when a man and woman come together and allow God to be at the very center of their relationship… they are to show determination and resolve… they are to show compassion and grace and mercy… they are to show forgiveness and redemption…and they are to show humility and service to one another. When we surrender ourselves to the plan that God has for our marriages, then, and only then, do we find ourselves winning in marriage.
Sun, Apr 22, 2018
by Linda Evans
Duration: 39 mins
Winning at Marriage week two message from Linda Evans on April 22, 2018 at Community Church of Waterford, Goshen, Indiana.
It is easy to love what is lovely. Beauty in nature, things like flowers and trees. Michael Angelo’s paintings. Wonderful music.
Opposites really do attract. Maybe we love something because it is valuable to us. We hang on to something because it has worth.
We often start out in relationships as good performers.
Are you still treating your spouse the same way you did when you were dating or when you were first married?
There is an example and an expectation for us to follow in the Bible regarding marriage.
Most people who read these verses like what the verses say regarding how your spouse is supposed to treat you.
But most people aren’t thrilled with what the verses are telling them to do.
When we are filled with the Spirit and living our lives by the power of the Spirit, we no longer need to look to others to fill our emptiness, and we don’t have to manipulate and control them to try to fill ourselves up!
When we are strengthened by the Holy Spirit, we have the strength and the desire to submit to one another!
The Greek word for “submit” has the meaning of coming underneath someone not lording over them.
Everyone is different and knowing your spouse well and knowing what they need to feel loved and secure and respected is huge.
I think this woman was looking to people to fill that emptiness in her heart. She was looking to her spouse to be her be-all-end-all and it clearly wasn’t working, because she’d had 5 husbands and was living with a man that she wasn’t married to. Jesus was offering her living water… He was offering himself to her as her messiah. Put me first and you will never thirst again. Put me first and I can fill that hole inside of you. Put me first, and the rest of your life will fall into place. Put me first, you can count on me Every. Single. Time.
God IS the Be-All-End-All.
Home is what we long for and this is what HOME really stands for…
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Is your relationship based on performance or value?
HOME… HOME is what we long for.
When we follow the example of Jesus, there really is no place like home.
Sun, Apr 15, 2018
by Linda Evans
Duration: 39 mins
Winning at Marriage week one message from Linda Evans on April 15, 2018 at Community Church of Waterford, Goshen, Indiana.
God hates divorce but he doesn’t hate divorced people.
He loves them.
There can be redemption,
there can be forgiveness,
there can be restoration,
because we serve an incredible, powerful God.
I told a handful of people that I was giving a 2 week sermon series on marriage and asked for topic ideas. Here are some of the suggestions I got...
1. How to survive in a loveless marriage
2. How to survive a cheating spouse
3. How to not be lonely in your marriage
4. How to love someone who doesn’t love you like you hoped
5. How to keep going when your spouse stops cherishing you and just gives out demands like “keep the house clean and be a better mom”.
People were wondering how to survive when what God intended is for us to thrive in our relationships.
One of the best pieces of advice that I ever received was to think of you and your spouse as a team.
What makes a teammate great?
A great teammate develops real relationships with their teammate.
A great teammate is willing to play any role on the team.
1 Corinthians 12:17-20
A great teammate is always willing to give maximum effort.
A great teammate works hard to improve their game.
A great teammate spends time studying the opponent.
1 Peter 5:8
A great teammate always leads by example and encourages.
A great teammate understands the importance of good
1 Peter 1:19
A great teammate understands their own strengths and weaknesses.
A great teammate has a positive and energetic attitude and may glance back but doesn’t keep their eyes fixed on what’s behind. A good teammate doesn’t dwell on what happened earlier.
A great teammate holds self and others accountable to the commitment they made to the team.
A great teammate is willing to accept feedback and make necessary changes.
A great teammate supports others when they are struggling. Never blames or finds excuses.
A great teammate is reliable, respectful, honest, trustworthy and loving.
Marriage (relationship) isn’t something that you get; it’s something that you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.